My Tears

I think last week was one of my roughest weeks since I found out that I had cancer.  I got mad at the fact that I was sick and wasn't feeling like the old Lisa. I was hating Cancer and I didn't care if it showed.  I was tired of feeling like shit in the middle of the day.  I couldn't think straight because I was feeling so bad.  I just cried and cried some more until at times, I fell asleep.  I kept saying that I don't want to do this anymore and it's not fair.  It took a minute but I checked myself and focused back in on what God has prepared me for.  The Fight!  I grabbed hold of my smile and wiped those tears away.  I had to remember his promises and hold tight to them.  I'm human, so it's ok for me to lose track.  The most important part is that I get back focused and I did.  I love life and I just want to live it.  I had to remind myself that this will only last but for moment but when it's all said and done, I'm going to celebrate in a big way.  I hate Cancer and me and him are going to break up real soon.  Thats not a commitment I want to be in :-)

Note:  Did I forget to tell you that the Cancer is under my left arm as well?  You'd have a moment if you were going through this as well.

Thank God for my friends!  They keep reminding me of God's purpose.  They lift me up when I'm down.  this is definitely Our Journey.

Lisa